I felt it was time for the second installment of the
WTF? IWW? archives. This one was submitted for an English essay in either my Freshman or Sophomore year of high school. I don’t remember what the essay was supposed to be about. I don’t even know what the heck any of this means. I wasn’t even on drugs when I wrote this. I just wrote a lot of strange stuff around that time. I still write some strange stuff, but my current writings make at least a little bit more sense than this.
And so I bring you “Time: Love It or Lose It” (whatever that’s supposed to mean).
The following piece is taken from the “I Wrote What?” archives. It was written years ago when I was much younger. The views and opinions contained within are outdated and should not be taken seriously. This is posted with the intention of being a humorous mockery of itself, and is not an accurate sample of my writing ability or style. No editing has been done to this piece.
All your base are belong to us.
Time is a continuous stage in space in which it wraps around life, sucking its victims into a black hole of turmoil; a vortex of defeat. No one person can see time with the naked eye, but we know that it exists. We can only see it with the third eye, but the fourth does not exist. We have devices through which we can tell time, although we still cannot see it. These machines are called clocks and watches; and sometimes the occasional alarm clocks.
Time ticks down like some kind of funky little timer thing. Seconds tick down, minutes tick down, hours tick down, days, months, years, decades, centuries, millenniums. Another millennium has already passed. It all is ticking to the end. How many more millenniums will pass until the end comes? One? Five? One thousand? Time goes by so fast. Time is a bald eagle soaring past Mount Everest. It flies and flies until it catches a fish. That fish is the end.
Life is a spiral in itself. Add 2 cups of challenges, 10 quarts of people, and 20 gallons of time; and you get nothing! You forgot the pepper! What is a time machine? A clock? A watch? No! Not even an alarm clock with radio, cassette player, CD player, remote control, and a little red light that blinks! A time machine is a fictitious device that supposedly should let you travel backwards and forwards in time. But you can’t! Time is everything, and nothing at all, all together. It is what it isn’t. You can’t see time. You can’t hear time, but you can hear the clocks and watches ticking away at your life. You can’t smell time. You can’t feel time, but you can feel the affects of time taking place. And you most definitely CAN taste the sting of time on your tongue and on your lips!
Take whatever information out of this you need, but like the eagle soars to catch the fish, it is now time for this essay to end.