The Ultimate Gamer Proposal


Link and Zelda

I wrote this and read it to my wife when I asked her to marry me. She said “yes”, despite my extreme level of dorkiness. Bless her heart. This isn’t really a poem, it doesn’t rhyme, and there’s not really any flow to it. It’s pretty much a bunch of video game references with really cheesy mushy stuff mixed in. If that’s not your cup of organic fair trade coffee, then you might want to skip this one. If you’re a gamer like me, you might enjoy this. This isn’t really a good sample of my writing though. It’s more like a sample of various video games that I’ve played.

The titles of the games that I reference are in parentheses at the end of each line.

If you’re an uber gamer nerd who wants to use this as the basis of his own proposal, just email me to let me know, give me credit for the original version, and link to my blog. Thanks.



I’ve walked the floating isles of Zeal before they crashed into the ocean. (Chrono Trigger)
I’ve explored the magical forests of Teldrassil. (World of Warcraft)
I visited New Pork City during its prime. (Mother 3)
I have traveled to every corner of Koholint. (Link’s Awakening)
But the greatest place I’ve ever been is in your arms.

I’ve watched the sun rise over what’s left of Loch Modan. (World of Warcraft)
I enjoyed dazzling fireworks exploding over the Mushroom Kingdom. (Super Mario RPG)
I stood in awe as the Moon crept closer to Clock Town. (Majora’s Mask)
I witnessed Tessie emerge from the depths of Lake Tess. (EarthBound)
But the greatest sight I’ve ever seen is your smile.

I’ve raced Karts to victory on Rainbow Road. (all Mario Kart games)
I’ve ridden Mechanostriders in the name of Gnomeregan. (World of Warcraft)
I went on roller coasters in Kremland. (Donkey Kong Country 2)
I’ve flown an Arwing over Corneria. (Star Fox 64)
But the greatest ride I’ve ever been on is your body.

I’ve searched Tail Cave for Roc’s Feather. (Link’s Awakening)
I discovered the secret beneath the Maw of the Void. (World of Warcraft)
I shot my way through the Temple to get the Golden Gun. (Goldeneye 007)
I fought my way through Stonehenge looking for the Sword of Kings. (EarthBound)
But the greatest thing I’ve ever found is your heart.

I destroyed Giygas with the power of Prayer. (EarthBound)
I traveled through time to defeat Lavos. (Chrono Trigger)
I teamed up with Bowser to beat Smithy. (Super Mario RPG)
I made Sigma suck my X-Buster. (Mega Man X)
But my greatest victory of all was winning your love.

I’ve tossed burning torches during the Midsummer Fire Festival. (World of Warcraft)
I was there when Flint received the news of his wife’s fate. (Mother 3)
I witnessed Marx become all-powerful. (Kirby Super Star)
I played a role in Zero’s reactivation. (Mega Man X2)
But the greatest event I ever attended was your life.

I rescued Princess Toadstool… time after time after time… (most Super Mario games)
I freed Paula from captivity by Carpainter. (EarthBound)
I helped Zelda escape Ganon’s grasp. (various Legend of Zelda games)
I prevented Marle from disappearing from existence. (Chrono Trigger)
But the hottest girl I ever saved was you.

I experienced the Runaway Five play at Chaos Theater. (EarthBound)
I played the Song of Storms on the Ocarina of Time. (Ocarina of Time)
I performed Pat Benetar at a concert. (Guitar Hero 3)
I rocked out with Diddy as he celebrated on his guitar. (Donkey Kong Country 2)
But the most beautiful sound I ever heard is your voice.

I barely defeated the Masked Man by the skin of my teeth. (Mother 3)
I’ve had my ass handed to me several times in Warsong Gulch. (World of Warcraft)
I’ve gotten stung by Zingers and pricked by Brambles. (Donkey Kong Country 2)
I struggled to hunt the X-Hunters. (Mega Man X2)
But the hardest thing ever is being away from you.

I’ve become Super by eating Mushrooms. (most Super Mario games)
I’ve taken hamburgers from garbage cans. (EarthBound)
I’ve collected hundreds of bananas. (most Donkey Kong games)
I’ve turned into pirates and ninjas by eating Savory Deviate Delights. (World of Warcraft)
But the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted is your lips.

I caught Mewtwo and 149 other Pokemon. (Pokemon Red & Blue)
I’ve farmed for leather, ore, and cloth. (World of Warcraft)
I’ve collected enough coins to open a bank. (most Super Mario games)
I learned sixteen powerful melodies. (Mother & EarthBound)
But the most important thing I’ve ever sought to capture is your affection.

I smashed barrels with hammers to rescue Pauline from Donkey Kong.  (Donkey Kong)
I chased ghosts after munching Super Pellets.  (Pac-Man)
I made rows disappear by stacking blocks in an organized fashion.  (Tetris)
I smashed buildings and ate people while I was a blue wolf-man.  (Rampage: World Tour)
But the highest score I ever got was when I scored with you.

I’ve hung out with Mario, Link, Ness, Ninten, Lucas, Crono, Donkey Kong, Diddy, Fox McCloud, Yoshi, Kirby, Mega Man, and Sonic.
But my best friend ever is you.

I’ve cared about Peach, Zelda, Paula, Ana, Kumatora, Marle, Daisy, Pauline, Dixie, Marina, Arborcorien*, Bexli*, and Cryptal*.
But the woman I’ve ever loved the most is you.

I’ve achieved all these things, seen all these places, met all these people, defeated all these enemies, and saved the world countless times.

But none of it means anything at all without you.



Then I asked her to marry me, and despite a long list of references that she only partially understood, she agreed.

And now you see me at a whole new level of nerdy.


* Arborcorien, Bexli, and Cryptal are my characters in World of Warcraft.

4 comments

    • Thanks! We already got married at the courthouse. I wrote this in August 2011, but I’m just now posting it online. I guess I forgot to mention that. We plan on having an actual ceremony someday, but that won’t be for awhile, so we haven’t made any plans yet. I’m glad you like it!

      Like

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